The Opening Line.

I love opening sentences in children's books. They vary in length from six words in Peter Pan and Wendy by J. M. Barrie to the extreme of 148 words in L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables.

No matter the length of the opening sentence or what the sentence is about, it should capture its audience with some sort of intrigue so that the reader wonders, "why is that happening?" or "what is going on?"

Here are some opening lines that made me wonder enough to keep reading.

“‘Where’s Papa going with that axe?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.”

Charlotte’s Webb by E.B. White

“I didn’t know how long I had  

been in the king’s prison.” 

    The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

“All children, except one, grow up.”

Peter Pan and Wendy by  JM Barrie

                                                                         

“Sophie had waited all her  

life to be kidnapped.”                                

The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani 

"Queen Gobbledeegook was angry!" 
Sir Nathan and the Troublesome Task by Mark Simon Smith

                                                                                                     
          

"It certainly seemed like it was going to be another  normal evening at Amelia Bedelia’s house.”

Amelia Bedelia Unleashed by Herman Parish

                                                                       

"When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen."
The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

"The First Place that I can well remember was a large pleasant meadow with a pond of clear water in it."
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell

First sentences not only peak the reader's interest  with "why" or "what", they also set the tone of the story.

Here are the first lines of my two books.

 

"Petra curtsied to the king and queen of Pen Pieyu, who sat upon their thrones."
Sir Princess Petra - The Pen Pieyu Adventures by Diane Mae Robinson









"Petra awoke to the sound of the royal councilman's bugle."
Sir Princess Petra's Talent - The Pen Pieyu Adventures by Diane Mae Robinson







What are some of your favorite first sentences in children's books?

Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com

More on Commas.

Yes, this is my third post on commas. Commas seem to be one of the biggest problems for many writers, and I also have a lot to say about them.

Meaning what you say and saying what you mean.

Meaning is everything, and the comma can  make a big difference in your meaning. Pay special attention to phrases that have because and since in them. Check out the sentences below and see if you can tell the difference in meaning with each pair of sentences:

• I didn’t ride the dragon because you were mad at me.
• I didn’t ride the dragon, because you were mad at me.

In the first instance, my  riding the dragon had nothing to do with you being mad at me, and that’s what I’m telling you. But with the comma, the sentence means I didn’t ride the dragon for the reason that you were mad at me.  In the 2nd sentence, you being mad at me kept me from riding the dragon, which is the opposite of the first sentence’s meaning.

• I have tamed dragons since I was nine.
• I have tamed dragons, since I was nine.

The word since has some different meanings, so by using the comma, you’re being clear. In the first sentence, I started taming dragons at age nine. The second sentence gives the reason I tamed dragons—because I was nine, implying I was at the right age to tame dragons.

So before  taming or riding your dragon, make your sentences clear and edit, edit, edit. That way the reader knows if one character did what they did because the other character was mad at them.

More on the commotion of commas: http://www.dianemaerobinson.com/2013/02/a-common-comma-commotion.html

And more comma common sense here: http://www.dianemaerobinson.com/2013/02/commas-ahhhhh.html

Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com 

copyright, Diane Mae Robinson, 2013

Fantasy Kids Books--An Excerpt.

Sir Princess Petra's Talent - The Pen Pieyu Adventures (book 2)

by Diane Mae Robinson
Excerpt Chapter One
Pre-release, July 1, 2013
Offical release, Sept. 24, 2013
copyright 2013

       Excerpt from Chapter 1

The Royal Rule Book, Again

      Petra awoke to the sound of the royal councilman’s bugle. She hastily dressed in leggings and a tunic full of rips and holes from a recent jousting practice and scurried to the royal throne room.

     The king and queen of Pen Pieyu sat on their ragged,

leather thrones. Her mother had a  nervous look about her, and her father, a sly grin. The royal councilman was running in circles until he came upon the royal rule book, which lay under Claymore, the royal mastiff. Somehow,  Petra thought, the royal rule book looked much thicker than last she had seen it. That could only mean trouble. Petra rolled her eyes and gave a little moan. 

 “Father, Mother,” Petra said with a bow, “you summoned me?”

  “Yes, my little Princess Knight,” her father replied, rather surly, as he watched the royal councilman point to a section in the royal rule book. The king stood, cleared his throat, then bellowed out, “It is hereby written that all Princess Knights of the Kingdom of Pen Pieyu must attend Talent School before their tenth year of age. They will be sent to the Land of Lost Donkeys and, under the instruction of King Asterman, learn a talent fit for a princess. After which time, the hereby-said princess---meaning you---will return to the Kingdom of Pen Pieyu with a proper princess talent and a certificate."

  Petra felt her face flush and her manners fly out the window. “That is ridiculous! I am a royal knight since I have accomplished the deed of hushing the howling dragon, Snarls, in the Forest of Doom. I should be treated as a royal knight and not this sissy princess stuff! And, besides, you just wrote that part—”

 “Silence!” the king roared.

 The royal councilman’s eyes grew extremely wide. He flipped the page of the royal book and backed away.

 The king gave his you-had-better-be-quiet glare toward

Petra, then continued to read, loudly,   “The hereby-said Princess Knight will acquire a talent certificate or be in forfeit of this royal rule. Forfeiting this royal rule will entitle the royal magician to turn the hereby-said Princess Knight into a frog to live in the bogs for a period of five years.”  The king smirked and plopped back onto his chair.

.  “You made that all up!” Petra gave her best that’s-not-fair stare. “Our kingdom has never had a Princess Knight, nor any knight for that matter, before me. And as if a person can be turned into a frog.” She wondered about this for just a moment. “At any rate, I would rather be a frog than learn to crochet!” Petra blurted and crossed her arms.

 

                                                                                         
For more information on this fantasy kids books series, visit my author's website:
http://www.dragonsbook.com

For pre-release editions of book two: 
http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/book.php?w=9781625106827

When Authors Play.

And play they must. This week's post is a re-post from my friend's website at Kid Lit Reviews. Sue is a great book reviewer so please check out her website: http://kid-lit-reviews.com

The only scary thing about being friends with a book reviewer---one day, they will have to review your second book. Yikes!

Oh, and they also have license to make fun of you. Read on.

Re-posted from: http://kid-lit-reviews.com/2013/06/16/when-authors-play/

Have you ever wondered what award-winning authors do on their day off? Or what they do to get inspiration, find those crazy characters they get us to love? Well, I have found the secret. While looking through some new folders my new email update placed, and added emails to, I found an email from an award-winning author. She sent me a card that was titled “Fun Fun Fun.” Well, she sure looks like she is having fun.

.

Can you see the crazy characters following her. I knew it! I was told I needed my imagination to develop characters and the reality is, all I need is a unicorn, an enchanted forest, and some free time. Well, they did not tell me this in the course I took. Look at those characters lining up behind the author . . . you know who this is.

This happy-go-lucky, unicorn-riding writer is working hard, don’t you think? She is working those skinny little legs for all she’s worth. And for her efforts a bunch of forest creatures trail her, ready to jump into her newest book. She has one just about ready to hit the bookstores, and the review sites are anxiously waiting for the signal that says “go ahead, rip me apart.” These characters are not in the newest book so this must be a new series under wraps. Huh! There’s an owl, skunk, pig, raccoon – a blue raccoon – and I am not sure what else. What creatures do you see in these stop-the madness pictures?

Well, now I know what writers do to find their characters and how they spend their free time. Why I was sent this evidence is a mystery. Maybe the author will show up and explain her actions and give us aspirings a hint on finding those endearing characters and the unicorn rental service that will take me to the enchanted forest.

If you are a writer, how do you find your characters and inspiration? Do you need to gallop through an enchanted forest on a unicorn (while someone, who knows who, captures your adventure)? Or do you have other ways, ways that maybe finally you will share with us novices, the ones struggling to get that first book out, or maybe just cannot find the characters to fill the pages.

WHAT ARE THE SECRETS NO ONE WILL TELL US?

(Your secrets are safe here.)

• And my response 

Play. That is my advice for children authors. As adults writing the children books, we forget how to play as a child, which in turn-turn lets us think like a child, which in turn-turn-turn let’s us create young characters for our children’s books.

I wrote an article entitled “Creativity In The Forest”: http://www.dianemaerobinson.com/2013/05/creativity-in-forest.html
that explains how I get into my right brain creative zone and where my characters come from, if anybody wants to check out what a ridiculous children’s writer has to say on the topic.

To view the comments on this post at Kid Lit Reviews: http://kid-litreviews.com/2013/06/16/when-authors-play/

To view Sue's review of my first book (before I knew her as a friend): http://kid-lit-reviews.com/?s=Sir+Princess+Petra&submit=Search

Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com 

Book Review: Sir Nathan and the Troublesome Task.

Sir Nathan and the Troublesome Task: A Second Somewhat Silly Story 

By Mark Simon Smith

Cover art by Mark Simon Smith

Interior Illustrations by Derek K. Gebler

Published by Mark Simon Smith, 2012

302 Pages, Ages 8 and up

ISBN 978-1477680025

From the back cover:  Once again, trouble has darkened the colorful land of Mariskatania and it is up to the Hero, Sir Nathan, to save the day. There are stories of a terrible, awful, frightening beast roaming the countryside and Sir Nathan must hunt down this creature and return what has been stolen from Queen Gobbledeegook.

As always, he is hampered by evil and treachery every step of the way, as well as by an annoying tag-along who hasn't even taken the necessary two-hour training course to become a knight of Mariskatania.

About the story:  Sir Nathan is on another sillier silly adventure. The royal twins have gone missing---evil and treachery must surely be involved.

Sir Nathan and his trusty steed, Tupolev, are summoned by Queen Gobbledeegook to find the twins.  Early on their quest, they meet up with "Amazing " Grace. Grace wants to be a knight but hasn't taken the preliminary knight course and, she rides a mop named Flopsy.

Somehow, and not by choice, Sir Nathan finds Grace and Flopsy joining in on the quest.

The group encounters a timid dragon who is afraid to fly, a dragon mouth mouse that takes good care of the dragon's teeth, a tribe of dim-witted ogres,  and three witches that share one eyes, one ear, and one nose between them, and other silly and fun characters as they make their way through such land as: Whispering Wasteland,  Hundred-League Crag of Imminent Doom, and Downside-Up Lake of Most Terrible Screams.

Can Sir Nathan smite the evilness and treachery of it all? Can he save the twins and remain the Hero of Mariskatania?  And what of Grace---does she help or hinder the quest?

What I thought: I loved book two.  The silliness, the smiting, the dastardly situations, the humor, the unique characters, especially Sir Nathan  and when he has 'lengthy screaming fits about the dastardly tricks of evil and how it sneaks about, ruining everything'.

The author is a genius at humor and the writing is exciting and clever. The characters are well rounded and the plotting is sound. Several black and white illustrations are fun and enhance the story telling well.

I reviewed book one,  Sir Nathan and the Quest for Queen Gobbledeegook, Here. At that time, I said that book one was my favorite new book. After reading book two, this is now my new favorite-favorite book. 

Children and adults alike will laugh at the silliness and will love this book.

You can visit the author's website: http://www.somewhatsillystory.com/reviews.html

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/somewhatsillystory

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15722188-sir-nathan-and-the-troublesome-task?ac=1




Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com 

Reflections: Friends, Art, Creativity.

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have,  

Pampered Cowgirl's photo.

 and one of the best things you can be.

 ~ Douglas Pagels

Never lose curiosity. Stop every day to understand
and appreciate a little of the Mystery that surrounds
you, and, your life will be filled with awe and discovery
to the very end.

Earthschool harmony's photo.

Attraction For Life's photo.

deviantART.com's photo. Self-Desception

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library." - Jorge Luis Borges

“The idea is to write so that people hear it, and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” —Maya Angelou

Art by Sue Morris

Art by Pablo Picaso

Art by Diane Robinson

Art by Dr. Seuss

Art by Dr. Seuss

May we always have friendship, art and creativity.

Visit my author's website: http://www.dragonsbook.com

Point Of View.

Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

Point of View (P.O.V.) in a story depends on how the main character is presented.

In first person, the book is told directly by the main character:
I am a dragon. I entertain people. That is my destiny.

In second person, the story is presented as if the reader is the main character: 
You get dresses, you eat breakfast, you go wrestle a dragon---it's all in a day's work.

In third person, the main character is referred to by name: 
Petra wondered at this for a moment. "Really? Is it possible that a dragon could be turned into a frog? "


First Person Narrative
    First person point of view instantly connects the reader with the main character, but often results in too much "telling" and not enough "showing."
   In the First person point of view, it is difficult to write about the physical description of the main character. In older writings writer's reverted to the "looked in the mirror" description, which is shunned in modern writing.
   First person point of view does allow the humor and thoughts of the main character to come through and the reader connects more readily with the main character.

Second Person Narrative

Second Person point of view is the least used form of writing books. Second person P.O.V. is difficult to maintain throughout a whole book and can produce awkward prose. This point of view is best used in blog posts.

Third Person Narrative

 Third Person P.O.V. is the most common form of narration.

 --Third person restricted has nearly as much closeness with the main character as first person but it is easier to avoid too much telling. The challenge to third person restricted is to keep the views only of the main character and not getting into and telling the thoughts of other characters.

 One challenge with third person restricted is limiting the story to scenes where the main character is present. This often requires creative plotting; to write the scenes around the main character. But doing so usually works out better than switching viewpoint characters. Switching viewpoint characters can and is done, but the difficulty of sustaining alternative views is that the reader can get lost within the different character's identities.

--Third Person omniscient is the rarest form of writing because it tends to obscure the main character. This type of P.O.V. knows all, and the writer reads into the thoughts of both minor and major characters. The reader does gain obscure knowledge of  the other characters, but the more times a writer switches the P.O.V., the less the reader will care about the main character.

A few other points on P.O.V.
http://users.humboldt.edu/tduckart/PoV.htm

Visit my author's website: http://www.dragonsbook.com

Noteworthy Writing Advice.

Writing advice from famous authors is something I take to heart.

Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

     I love quotes by famous writers. Probably because there is such basic truths in their advice: when the writer can't find a way out of their writer's block, dealing with--or not--the criticism of others, following your heart and sticking by your mission as a writer, and getting past your own self-doubt.

    Here are some famous author's quotes most worthy of the advice:

 "If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time--or the tools--to write. Simple as that." --Stephen King

 "Don't take anyone's writing advice too seriously." --Lev Grossman

"You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club." --Jack London

"I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide." --Harper Lee

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." --Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't try to write through it, to force it. Many do, but that won't work. Just wait, it will come." --Toni Morrison

"True originality consists not in a new manner but in a new vision." --Edith Wharton

"The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." --Sylvia Plath

I think that most writers find these truths the hard way--through practice, rejection, and the hair-pulling-out techniques that devoted writers go through.

The quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery rings the biggest truth for me. When the writer can kill their own words, cut scenes, get to the core of the story, then perfection is achieved in that writing.

If you read, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, you will well see what concise writing is to a great book. The Little Prince is one of my favorite books ever, and it is perfection.

When I was in journalism school, most of my assignments were targeted to cutting words. I had to write a short story, of say 1500 words, send it in for grading ,then (for the final mark of that assignment) cut it back to 1000 words without loosing the essence of the story.

Killing of your own words is a tough business at first. But through practice, and some mourning, it becomes easier. And the outcome is a story worth the telling.

Then there's Lev Grossman's advice "Don't take anyone's writing advice too seriously." This is a mighty important message for writers. Don't let other people's criticism hold you back from telling the story you need to tell--what some will love, others may not. Hence, the thick hide comes in handy.

Visit my author's website: http://www.dragonsbook.com      

Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

Hyphenation Woes.

Hyphen rules are about as meddlesome as comma rules.---meaning they are very, very meddlesome.

Most rules about hyphenating have to do with modifying a noun (the adjective or compound adjective before the noun).

Many words we tend to hyphenate could be one closed-up word, so it is always best to check The Chicago Manual of Style Hyphenation Table::
http://www.guumedia.com/the-chicago-manual-of-style-online-hyphenation-table/

Readability is the main purpose for using the hyphen, and hyphens are used to show structure and pronunciation, Here are a few of the rules:

- No need to hyphenate proper nouns (North America) or ly + adjective compounds before nouns.

                     Example: That is a wonderfully groomed dragon you have there.

- When adjective compounds come after the noun, hyphenation is usually unnecessary.

                      Example: The blue-eyed dragon becomes: The dragon is blue eyed.

- And even for compounds that are hyphenated in the dictionary, such as: ill-humored and well-read---they don’t need to be hyphenated after the noun.

                      Example: That dragon was certainly ill humored.

- Participle (a verbal that functions as an adjective) constructions are hyphenated before but not after the noun.

            Example:: the fire-breathing methods becomes: the methods of fire breathing..

.

But, age terms should be hyphenated in both noun and adjective forms, except in the last two examples.

Examples:

The three-year-old dragon

A ninety-nine-year-old dragon king

The dragon king's subjects of seven-year-olds

but

The dragon prince was nine years old

When he was nine years of age

So, now that we know some of the meddlesome hyphenation rules, lets have a care-free writing session or, a writing session that is care free.

Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com 

Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

copyright, Diane Mae Robinson, 2013

The Ukrainian Writer.

By heritage of my mother's mother, I am of Ukrainian descent. My baba, Sophie ( Софія),was a wonderful baba---of the very round and jolly kind.  She passed away at the age of 96, eight years ago. In all her 80 years in Canada, she never learned much English and I never learned much Ukrainian, but we communicated with gestures and the few words we each knew of the other's language.

Baba Sophie came to Canada as a pre-arranged bride at sixteen years old, to escape the war. She left her family in a village near Hordenka, in Ivano-Frankivist Oblast, Ukraine to marry a man of Ukrainian decent , John Zaharko, whom she never met before coming to Canada.

Baba Sophie Pidwerbeski and Gido John Zaharko. 1924

Gido John had already set up a farm in Alberta, Canada, so this was to be her destiny---a farmer's wife in a strange land.

Baba Sophie would never talk much about what happened during the war, and she vowed never to set foot on Ukrainian soil again. Although, she did love Ukraine while growing up there and before the war. Throughout her life in Canada, she always kept in contact with the relatives in Ukraine, sending what money or gifts she could.

Baba Sophie Pidwerbeski taught me how to make many Ukrainian dishes. I still enjoy making these dishes and have them on all special occasion. These are my favorites:

Babka: another Easter bread, usually a sweet dough with raisins and other dried fruit.

Borscht (borshch) is a vegetable soup made out of beets, cabbage, potatoes, tomatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, dill

Varenyky (Perogy): Dumplings stuffed with fillings such as potato and cheese, often served boiled.

Cabbage rolls (holubtsi/holubchi): cabbage leaves (fresh or sour) rolled with rice filling and may contain meat (minced beef or bacon)

Mlyntsi: crêpes (blyntsi or nalisnyky), filled usually with cottage cheese, meat, cabbage, fruits, served with sour cream

Pyrizhky: Small potato filled buns baked in thickened rich cream and dill.

Kutia: traditional Christmas dish, made of poppy seeds, wheat, nuts, honey, and delicacies.

My mother and two of her brothers are all that are left of their immediate family. The three of them all converse in fluent Ukrainian, but I fear they are the last generation (in Canada) to do so.

Baba Sophie's 3 sisters and great niece, Ukraine, 1985

My way of keeping my heritage alive will be in preparing these Ukrainian dishes for our family gathering.

Baba Sophie and Gido John both passed away before my first book was published. They never knew that I became a children's book writer.

Visit my author's website at: http://www.dragonsbook.com