Saturday 27 April 2013

Fan Mail: Um, About Your Dragon.

As a writer of dragon books for children, I understand that a dragon character can become as real to the reader as he is to me.  When this happen, the dragon character seems to get a life of his own, and strange things can happen.

Snarl is a dragon. He is a secondary character in my children book series, The Pen Pieyu Adventures. I quite love Snarls and he is usually a well behaved and lovable dragon.

Apparently, Snarls gets into his own mischief outside of the books he is in.

The readers of this blog will already be familiar with Snarls and some of the antics he has been up to. The only way I know of these instances is by the fan mail (or maybe in this case it's called non-fan mail) I receives from someone called "Anonymous".

Snarls visits "Anonymous" on occasion, and "Anonymous" writes me to tell me about the newest, um . . . adventure.

Snarls on his way to visit Anonymous? Not sure.
Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

Here is the latest letter from Anonymous:

Dear author person,

I do not remember much, but the smoke is finally beginning to clear out of the building and hopefully soon out of my apartment. No one in my building has been talking to me. 

Snarls bragged about his fire-making capabilities and that he was a friend of mine. Now they blame me for the smoke-filled apartments they currently reside in. Management is looking the other way. They do not want to explain on television, or even in the local paper no one reads, how a dragon got into one of their apartments or that dragons still exist.

Tell Snarls to stop picking his nose. It is quite disturbing when fires shoot out. He's trying to gross me out while burning me down.

Sending your dragon back home. He is too much trouble!


Well gosh, Anonymous, I am truly sorry for the troubles my dragon causes you. He does not do these kinds of nasty things at home. I think this may just be the rebellion of his youth--he is only three, you know.

I hope you will not want monetary compensation for the damages he has done. You see, I am a struggling writer and cannot pay you with money.

I can, although, order him to go back and clean up the mess. Should he bring his pajamas? Will it take more than a day? Can he stay at your place while he cleans up the mess? Do you have kitties? He likes to lick kitties!

As soon as he arrives home, I will send my dragon back over there A.S.A.P.

The Author
This is Snarls when he is at home. Seems innocent enough, right?
Illustration by Samantha Kickingbird

For more information about Snarls and the other characters of book one, Sir Princess Petra - The Pen Pieyu Adventures, visit:

Book two, Sir Princess Petra's Talent - The Pen Pieyu Adventures, forthcoming soon.


  1. Um, sending Snarls back to clean up the mess might aggravate the situation. I am now looking for a new apartment and my once friends are exhilarated I am leaving. I think I will look for something in a commercial district and use one of the rooms, fireproofed, of course, just for Snarls.

    I do have kitties and they are not happy with your dragon. They loved their home and hate to move. Now they must get used to new neighbors and new dogs. There is nothing worse that pissed off kitties - except maybe an arrogant dragon.

    The complex has sent me a clean-up bill, which I AM FORWARDING TO YOU! Struggling artist or not, this came from your imagination. In the future be careful of what you dream up and the characteristics you give your newest trouble-making castle dwellers.

    How about dreaming up a dreamy guy, not attached to anyone, who can defeat all dragons, and loves kitties.
    Send that character my way and I might forgive the clean-up bill. Oh, make sure he has a well-paying imaginary career.

    Fan mail. Geez.

    1. Dear Anonymous,

      Ahha, so you must be a girl. You want a dreamy guy.

      Oh, Oh, Oh, I have such the dreamy guy for you!!! I'm sending him with Snarls to clean up the mess. His name is Duce Crablips, and I think he will like you.

      Snarls can still come, right? Snarls will defeat those annoying dogs and protect his delicious kitties. He will, honest.

      Okay . . . send me the bill. I'll take it out of Snarls' allowance.

      Good luck.
      The Author

  2. Hey, Diane. It's too bad you are still having trouble with "fans." Snarls is such a sweet character, I cannot imagine anyone being upset with him. So what he shoots fire out his nose, everyone has faults.

    Anyway, I am here to tell you I have nominated you for the Wordpress Family Award. Here is the link:

  3. Hi Sue,

    Ya, this "fan" person is a little troublesome for sure. Maybe a little loony too. Kind of sounds like she might be a writer type.

    And, you are right, so what if Snarls shoots out fire-snot balls? He's very nice about it all.

    Thanks so much for the nomination of the something or other. I'll check it out.

  4. Snarls shoots out fire-SNOT balls? Oh, this is much different than being a little fault. No wonder this anonymous person is so upset.

    Fire is one thing, and can be very useful. Fire snot balls are just gross. What could they possibly be worth? Is there a character in your garden that creates art with them--do you?--or maybe uses them to clean even nastier stuff, or maybe sells it to unsuspecting tourists?

    Wow, I suddenly feel for this anonymous. I do have a question. How do you know this is a girl? Many guys like dreamy guys nowadays. You may have just offended a segment of the population.

    But, then, would Snarls spend the weekend with a girl or a guy? Which would he shoot fire out his nose for, a girl or a guy? Okay, showing off he would definitely show the guy, but I think you may be right. So how are you going to find her?

    Do check out the award. It is fine that you mostly use blogger. And you can put the award on both sites, because if I would have been thinking clearer, I would have nominated you for both. I talk about Snarls in your nomination. Just a heads up.

  5. Oh, Anonymous could be a guy, I guess. Now Mr./Ms/Mrs. Anonymous is going to be more upset with me. Opps.

    Hey, by the way, you would never guess how much dragon snot ball go for in this area: $25.00 Canadian for each wad.
    I have to give Snarls pepper sometimes, you know, so he sneezes and makes more snot ball so I can make more loot.

    Hah, I bet you wish you had your own dragon.

    Oh and, Snarls, he like girls.

  6. How much is $25 Canadian in US dollars? About $1.15? That snot-ball thrower is using the devalued US dollar to make a buck -- a big canadian buck.. He was charging $2.85 a snot-ball to the kids watching the fire trucks. Funny how the fire trucks appear the same time that Snarls does. I am beginning to think he starts these fires to get the kids excited so they'll buy more of his OVER-PRICED snot-balls of fire.

    These kids then go out and play their game of Snarls, throwing the snot balls at other buildings. Our taxes increase nearly 26% just to cover the extra fire equipment and manpower. I do not know what Canadians do with their snot-balls, but we here in the US would prefer not to see any of the snot, or the balls, or the fire. Enjoy them up there where the air must be thinner.

    Why does this dragon lick my kitties? Sure, they end up cleaner than they have ever been, but come one? A dragon, his size, licking my kitties, their size? People will talk.

  7. I am so happy to hear that Snarls was charging and receiving $2.85 U.S. a snot-ball. He has lots of, um, bills to pay and he needs the money.

    He spends all of his allowance on Mars Bars--sheesh, dragons these days!

    I think Snarls licks kitties because they smell like cat-nip. Isn't cat-nip an addictive thing? Oh, no. Now I'm really worried that he has an addictive problem.

    I'm going to talk to him right now and get this straight.